i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
