I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize