My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
