hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
