"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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