just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
