I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
