But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize