we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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