I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
