just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
