Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
