Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
