I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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