I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
