I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
