So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
