The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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