I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I forgot how hot balto sounded
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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