He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
