there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
