u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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