didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
