They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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