do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
