So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
