guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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