I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize