You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
