ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the day after is always just damage control
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
