Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize