alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
