Kiss
Puke
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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