your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
