I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
