We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
