How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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