You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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