yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize