I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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