dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
