I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
