Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
