remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
