I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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