dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
