it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
