Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
