in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
