I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
