BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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