she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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