Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
