Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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