i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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