you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
