Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
