That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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