I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
