Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
