So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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