I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
