Already got asked if we're dating
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
