White coat. Heels.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
