god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
