i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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